TorturousHumor

Cosmo Kramer was an eccentric man, one who many would never fully understand.



If there is one thing to learn from this experience it is to remove all parts of your brain that trigger emotions as soon as possible.

Of course, one might hypothesize based on the situation, that I am guilty and in fact had a hand in the incident. However, one might neglect to point out that they've never existed and never will.

They were just here, looking for me. Luckily, I had my copy of J.K. Rowling's "Eat a lot and Die Young" nearby so I managed to slip under the covers of my steel matress and avoid capture. I believe they'll be back very soon and no doubt with a pack of gluttonous man-children to assist them. I am going to die.

Something fell off the side of my body, I was unable to identify what it was, however, I believe it must have been something of great importance as my blood has become very thick and it has acquired a flavor that resembles that of a lime.